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Apprentices'......
#1
Currently Rolleyes been allocated one of these cheeky little twats to upskill....

We get to site, he sees the meter is manufactured in 1965....

Fuck me....he exclaims... That's Old. 

I delicately advise.... I was born in 1964....

Next job.... check certification as meter was a 1985 but serviced in 1993.... the little twat points out...

I wasn't even born then.... Dodgy

Something tells me I'm looking for a farm and a meter in the pig pens.... Angel
Illigitimi non carborundum.
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#2
You'd only have a coronary thrombosis wrestling with him in the pig shed, collapse on your piss bag, burst it, and then even if you got out alive you'd get done by the infection in the pig nibble wounds.
I am Weasel. Hmm, toasty warm hands................. I love my smashing heated grips O'shagnasty.
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#3
Sorry, missed off   SILLY OLD CUNT !
I am Weasel. Hmm, toasty warm hands................. I love my smashing heated grips O'shagnasty.
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#4
Laugh Laugh Laugh
To the Regiment! I wish I was there.
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#5
It must be like a 70s sitcom in your van Doc - Love Thy Neighbour meets Mind Your Language meets Confessions of an Engineer  Laugh
I am Spartacus 
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#6
You lot just don't understand..... Tongue

Think back to when you had teenagers in the house.... Yep! you'd want to kill them time and time again....

Short memories you've got, you old fuckers Angel
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#7
its frightening when you talk about something you did a few years back then a member of staff come out with "oh I was still at school then" or worse "i wasnt born!" and some of us are only in our 40's!!!
My real name is Dave 
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#8
Lefty and Kevin should have one each....
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#9
(03-03-2017, 06:14 PM)DrMarten Wrote: You lot just don't understand..... Tongue

Think back to when you had teenagers in the house.... Yep! you'd want to kill them time and time again....

Short memories you've got, you old fuckers Angel

My boys only 10 - got the teeny times to come  Confused

Still doesn't excuse you telling the poor Asian lad to drop the accent and speak English - in Wales!  Laugh
I am Spartacus 
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#10
Angel


May you enjoy the next phase in his life.......

Boys are FAR easier than Girls, you've got it easy! My Little Princess was horrible....she would tell you that Laugh

Enjoy it while you can.

All you have to worry about is if he's fed and watered....when the smell gets too bad from his bedroom...remind him of the shower....

Then girls will come on the scene.....you'll never see him...he'll be in the bathroom, showering and using your body spray.... want his washing and ironing done.....
Illigitimi non carborundum.
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#11
(03-03-2017, 01:45 PM)DrMarten Wrote: Currently Rolleyes been allocated one of these cheeky little twats to upskill....

We get to site, he sees the meter is manufactured in 1965....

Fuck me....he exclaims... That's Old. 

I delicately advise.... I was born in 1964....

Next job.... check certification as meter was a 1985 but serviced in 1993.... the little twat points out...

I wasn't even born then.... Dodgy

Something tells me I'm looking for a farm and a meter in the pig pens.... Angel

Born in 1964 and old feck ................. I was already attending school in 1964 Confused
When the going gets tough you get tougher 
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#12
And to be fair Chris, it's only the recent increased police presence that's made you stop hanging round them.
I am Weasel. Hmm, toasty warm hands................. I love my smashing heated grips O'shagnasty.
[Image: 84UXVnH0.jpg]
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#13
(04-03-2017, 04:16 PM)Lefty Wrote: And to be fair Chris, it's only the recent increased police presence that's made you stop hanging round them.

LMAO the ice cream van cover was blown
When the going gets tough you get tougher 
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#14
Just thought I'd bump this topic up.....

Been talking to Kevin, engineer talk.... Rolleyes I'm looking forward to getting back to work without the stress of having an ankle biter to look after....

Enjoyed torturing him... I'm just awaiting another to bully, beast and batter to a pulp.

Mine passed his exams.... so I've got a new one coming.... hardest thing to teach? Making my coffee without milk...one of them will get the pint bottle over their head Angry
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#15
I’m going to share this story with you all, especially those who believe we are harsh with comments or treatments with our apprentices....

First week, he gets his brand new van, in limited livery mind!! By yesterday..... it’s lmpailed in the rear of my van.... Rolleyes

My previous reaction would be akin to a tazmainian devil attack.... poor sod was shocked, no more than me mind.... he said that the hill start assist didn’t..... Dodgy Having been on the managerial course, I thought....let him drop himself in the shit...and then close in for the kill. But, I sat there thinking... FFS, poor sod... must be traumatised at the thought of what’s happened....

Had to inform my line manager, who like me.... thought he should be whipped, salt and peppered. 

Summoned to God’s Office this morning... next manager up the chain... Really pleased you didn’t do the usual disciplinary route.....far too much of that flying around.

Well I never....

I’m off for a lie down....
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#16
(03-03-2017, 09:37 PM)Buffalo Wrote:
(03-03-2017, 01:45 PM)DrMarten Wrote: Currently Rolleyes been allocated one of these cheeky little twats to upskill....

We get to site, he sees the meter is manufactured in 1965....

Fuck me....he exclaims... That's Old. 

I delicately advise.... I was born in 1964....

Next job.... check certification as meter was a 1985 but serviced in 1993.... the little twat points out...

I wasn't even born then.... Dodgy

Something tells me I'm looking for a farm and a meter in the pig pens.... Angel

Born in 1964 and old feck ................. I was already attending school in 1964 Confused

Kids of today like Doc should respect their elders more is all I can say, my younger brother was born in '64, when I was six Rolleyes
There's no hope ........ he'll be an engineer !
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#17
So here I sit, on holiday, simmering....

Text messages last night from a new starter.....IM WITH YOU NEXT WEEK, RING ME THE DAY BEFORE SO I CAN MEET YOU...

Really?!

Today...

2 of existing pups phone work phone.... then ring my personal phone asking me to sort out staff to work with.....

I rang both their managers, then their area manager, expressing my extreme displeasure.

Not that I see myself as anything more than a number on the HR system or in fact aspiring, god forbid to ascend that well greased slippery pole of management... but FFS IM ON HOLIDAY.

Now.... where’s that Radio Times...
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#18
Close call today...

Current pup is proving a challenge some what. Now there’s no way I can comment overly on this matter, but here goes...

He is rather a large and unfit chap... at 24...

Geared up, flame proof suit, face shield and the like.... he is finding it difficult to get into restrictive areas let’s say....
Then add into the equation having to work, so combining the two he just couldn’t.

I honestly thought he was about to pass out....and thank goodness I managed to get him away just before he did.

So...there I am, having to tend to him, reassure him, as he was to say the least suddenly coming to terms that he isn’t able to do the job he’s been employed to do. Call it natural selection...
The big realisation for him, was the fact a person over double his age, old enough to be his Grandfather .... and with quite restricted movement, wriggles in and carried out his job. To say he was nearly in tears... However, he has been a thorough pain in my ass.... telling me how to do the job...how good he is.... couldn’t be told etc....

Now, I’ve got to have a meeting regarding this individual tomorrow....the bottom line being his unwillingness to be more physically active!
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#19
To many pies?
To the Regiment! I wish I was there.
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#20
Sad thing is..... he thinks by bullshitting, people won’t notice his inadequacies....

He is now facing himself.... he isn’t liking what he’s seeing.

I’m known to be bluntly honest, I told him several times he will find it difficult, he wasn’t listening.... now it’s balls to the wall time.
Illigitimi non carborundum.
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